Update

來個近況報告吧
看看這一年來我有什麼長進

First of all 我終於畢業了
拖拖拉拉終於還是要跨入求職的戰場中
不過不知道為什麼
感覺好虛幻喔
就像坐飛機到美國
中途睡睡醒醒幾百次
感覺永遠都跨不過太平洋
卻在一次睡眠中 被空姐叫起來
告訴我已經抵達目的地了
那種夾雜著時差的混沌
與空間轉換的不確定感
讓我不禁懷疑起 我是否真的完成這段飛行

第二 我失業了
好吧 我知道這一點有點多餘
因為畢業與失業常常一同出來見客
所以啊 也沒什麼好抱怨的
就只能keep moving forward
be positive!

Third 我好像又更了解自己
一直以來 我覺得人們最不熟悉的 就是自己
因為我們的感官常受到外在環境與內心的錯覺所左右
就漸漸地忘記了
到底我想要的是什麼
我不想要的是什麼
我能付出的代價是什麼
我不能承受的代價又是什麼
Follow your heart
but you have to know your heart first!
我想我本身是個隨心所欲慣的人
也許偶爾得到些教訓
會收斂一會兒
但時常狂放的心 是自己也抓不住的
我想我是熱愛這個不受控制的自己
雖然她讓我充滿不確定感 更有可能讓我墜落
但誰能抵擋壞人的誘惑呢？
了解自己並且用心地愛自己
是我這一生中 非常重要的課題

第四 I had the best party in the world!
謝謝大家12/24從四面八方千里迢迢舟車勞頓地來到我們的公寓
希望那天每個人都玩得開心 吃的愉快
謝謝大家配合我們的dress code (有大家嗎？)
謝謝大家用心準備交換禮物
謝謝提供The Simpsons Shot Glasses的朋友
謝謝大家熱烈參與遊戲 (到底是誰的攻擊 造成我有黑青 請自首)
謝謝綺綺精心準備食物、飲料 佈置、規劃動線, the passion and love
謝謝你們陪我渡過這一個很棒的Christmas Eve and Christmas day



最後
希望我們都能有一個更棒的2008

The last month of 2007

Sometimes I observe how many articles I published on An Rules per month.
Usually it is an indicator for how busy/confused I was.

I think there are lots of things going through in this month.
These little things might be nothing for somebody.
But they're all meaningful and unforgettable for me.
Because I will be the person in the future by learning from these.
From my life.

"What kind of adults are we going to be?"
We've asked this question at 17.

"What kind of person am I?"
I'm not even sure if I'm an adult yet at my 25.

"How many times am I going to fall down till being a real mature one?"
I don't know how tough I'm but I'm always trying to stand up.

I'm kinda always in the between.
Never stayed nor left.
Usually I just keep going and meet my fate.
What a surprise~
We met and I took.
There's no choice in the most of time.

What a pity fatalist...

I was not into fatalism at all,
till I realized that I can not even control myself sometimes.
There might be nothing I can do in my life, besides going and waiting
to see what's next.

I am an actress performing for myself, the only.

My beautiful player,
Just do your best. The viewer will definitely enjoy your show!

My dear audience,
Sit back and relax. It will be the story you've never known how it's ended.

Yeah, we will see.

Show time!

Cheating and believing

今天 我們來談談謊言與信任
你曾經對誰說謊呢

什麼？你不說謊？

......你以為你還在當童子軍嗎？
去扶老婆婆過馬路吧！

謊言 是個大多數人都說不喜歡的東西
(但是不是真的不喜歡呢？)
卻在我們的生活中佔有非常非常巨大的角色
或者我應該說 你我的生活是靠謊言支撐著

是的，童子軍同學，你舉手是有問題要發言嗎？

嗯，好，我了解你的疑惑了。

各位同學，童子軍同學在這邊為我們帶來一個很好的示範，
就是發言前要先舉手，大家要確實遵守喔！

童子軍同學對於謊言在現實生活中所佔的比例有疑問
他說又不是每個人都是說謊家，我們的生活並沒有充斥著謊言

我覺得童同學第一句話的見解真的非常精闢，真的
真正能被稱為說謊家的人，絕對屈指可數
大多數都只有三腳貓功夫
連三歲小孩都可以從你眼神不經意的閃爍
或話語中那0.1秒不正常的停頓
就知道你在說謊
(以上為文學中的誇飾法，與謊言無關，謝謝)

所以很遺憾地
我們的生活中的確充斥著彆腳的謊言：

正妹跟你說週六不能去看電影 因為要跟組員討論報告
但到了週六 她的組員之一找你去打球 並說他們早就把報告交出去了

你問他昨晚為什麼沒有接電話
他說去朋友家打電動 忘記帶手機
但那位朋友在昨晚忙亂地打電話問你八里的那家motel怎麼走

又或者
你必須得在那0.1秒內決定
今天下午
是去圖書館看書 還是跟隔壁班小男生逛街
在晚餐時你媽媽不經意地問起

還是
你必須得在那0.1秒內決定
昨天晚上
你是在陪那一個朋友藉酒消愁 (calculating......)
在你情人抱怨昨晚拿宵夜給你時找不到人

很日常的情節
很芭樂的劇情
有時我們說謊以保護自己
有時我們說謊以保護對方 (自己為)
但是 please don't get it wrong
我可不是一個滿口仁義道德的衛道人士
我可是非常感激美國政府處理外星生物的手法
(這樣我們才有X-Files可以看...不是，這樣人心才不會太恐慌)
我只是真誠的希望
cheaters可以多為believers著想
正所謂 騙人也是要有誠意的嘛

你要控制你的眼神 音調 甚至心跳
不容許一絲絲不安游移
你要精心設計你的場景
不能有任何可疑的人事物出現在你的故事中
你要知道對方在意的是什麼
了解你的觀眾並適時的滿足他是一種盡業的表現

講到這兒 知道要當一個稱職的cheater有多難了吧
但還有更難的
就是當一個完美的believer

究竟要在什麼個時機眨眼才可以閃過那一絲罪惡感
究竟要邊聽什麼樣的音樂才不會注意到那不自然的語氣
究竟要在多遠的距離才不會感受到那緊張的心跳
要如何忽視自己的好奇心
要如何完整地合理化一切矛盾
這一切的一切
是多麼的細膩 需要多麼大的智慧啊

So, whatever your choice is
To be a cheater or a believer
You have to work on it very hard!

下課！

Being tender to me

我們會遇到許多人
有很多好人 也有很多壞人

有時候好人太好 對我們是件壞事
有時候壞人太壞 對我們是件好事

所以也許
並沒有絕對的好人或絕對的壞人
It all depends on how you take these!

Some things about cats

I personally don't have too much experience with cats.
(I'm a big cat already!)
Fortunately, I have chances to get closed to Emma & Johnson's cat.

Here he is.


The Sorrows of Young Werther


What the .... is on the wall!


Scratch!


It does move!


Whatever......



I think I would never know what the cat thinks!

Q and As

Weekday partner or weekend lover?

which one you wanna be?
which one you wanna be with?
which one can you be?
which one can you be with?


I wanna be Batman, and be with Sully!
I can be my lover, and be with myself!

It's been a while

It's been a while, hasn't it!

We were just walking with no words, no destination, no thought.
You took my hand with your warm, and watched for traffic for me.
All I needed to do was pacing slowly.
'Cause you knew I didn't like to walk too fast.
"Cause I knew you were just by my side.

There's no hurry, no sound, no scare.
And I knew I was the only one in your eyes, and so were you.

Ten years passed, and I still love walking slowly.
But not everyone does.
They would like to move from point A to point B as quick as we could.
I started to get myself used to fellow their steps, maybe had to run sometimes.
I don't care very much seriously, because I know I can get what I always need.

I always need to be the one and the only.

This is all what I'm eager for.


It has been a while.
How are you doing recently, I mean after our 15?